A Little About Me...

Dying, death, grief…These are complicated and difficult parts of life that we all face at least once, and most likely several times. Whether one’s passing is expected or a tragic shock, grief will affect us in different ways. It is generally a transformative experience, in that we are not the same people afterward that we were before, no matter how much we think we are prepared. 

Like most of us who have grown up in modern times, I didn’t have a lot of personal exposure to death beyond family pets and the occasional distant relative. I didn’t grow up in a multi-generational home or other scenario where there were opportunities to familiarize myself with the particulars and as a result, I grew up being terrified of death as some mysterious inevitable that would only be devastating when it happened. Our family was Jewish and when a relative passed, the burial was conducted within 24 hours per the custom, and there was no wake as there might be in other types of ceremonies. There was no opportunity to see the body, let alone spend time with it or otherwise find normality in this part of the life cycle. The thought of a corpse both creeped me out but fascinated me as well. I wanted to know more, to ask questions, but felt I couldn’t. Nobody wanted to talk about death, or the process of dying. Too scary, too sad. This only added to my anxieties, snowballing and intensifying as I got older. 

Part of this was due to the fact that my mother, whom I adored, was beginning to have serious health problems. I knew I would have to get realistic that I would inevitably lose her, and that thought paralyzed me with fear. How on earth was I going to live without my mother? I dealt with this the only way I know how to deal with anything that makes me uncomfortable: Lean into it, try to understand, find empowerment in knowledge and action.

It was sometime in early 2019 when I stumbled upon the Death Positivity movement, which changed my life. I found myself falling down rabbit holes as I took in more and more information about what happens when we die, about cultural norms, death rituals, the explosive rise of the multi-billion dollar funeral industry in the United States, and how we got where we are today as a society in how we approach death and dying. A passion was sparked in me and I realized this is the work I need to be doing. At that time, I had been working in Human Resources management for 25 years and wanted a career change anyway due to burnout. Suddenly, my path forward was crystal clear: I wanted to devote my life to helping others through their own fears and to learn about what options exist at the end of life (such as Death with Dignity – aka Physician-Assisted Suicide) or alternative options for body disposal that are eco-friendly and meaningful. 

I share my story with you here because I want you to know that I understand what you might be feeling as you browse my website and explore options for whatever you might be facing. I really do. I eventually lost my mother to cancer in 2022 (via Death with Dignity, which was an incredibly beautiful experience). Now I live with that loss, and have found that helping others process their own grief in turn helps me with mine. There is so much love and support and hope in this shared experience. If and when you are ready, I would love to walk alongside you in your journey as well.